Interlude: With One Wing Beating

It started with a wind, a hard wind, a cold wind blown off a glacier, promising of things colder. A voice just as hard and cold as the wind spoke.

"Her dreams, they are getting stronger. She sees even us from time to time."

A warmth broke over Callas, promising of summer sun, that voice is so like one that she'd heard before. "She grows stronger, not the amulets. They just woke the ability, Morrigan."

"In the end they may kill her, those visions. The truth may well kill them all."

"You may or may not be right, sister. It is time for us to talk, away from the eyes of my daughter. Go child, dream what you are supposed to see, the future, the past, the present, they await you," Epona's warm voice said.

Epona? Morrigan? Where--I'm dreaming. I must be dreaming. But it's so real--where am I going?

"Gaius is gone. His path led him away from us." Gavião's eyes were dark and grave. "He is not who he once used to be, but none of us are."

"I knew that long ago when he killed his drow girlfriend. I just didn't want to believe it until now." It was her own voice that spoke.

"He was a friend, but now he walks in Arumaga's footsteps. We may have to kill him." Gavião replied, leaning on Excalibur. "You know that, don't you?"

"We might, Gavião. I'm not sure that I could handle that right now."

"I can, Callas."

Gaius? But what could posess him to--ah, I'm moving again.

Two figures walking down a long hallway, filled with bookcases and books. The tall, thin one on the left, curly hair and neatly trimmed beard, so familiar--Gaius. The one next to him was unknown to Callas. He was nearly as tall as the monk and much more heavily built, appearing to be in his late forties, his face clean-shaven and his long hair steel grey, pulled back from his face.

"I am glad that you joined us, Gaius. I've had the cloak for some time, but I've been unable to unlock its powers. I need all the gate locations as soon as you can provide them."

Gaius nods, "As soon as the ceremony that links me to the powers of the gods you have killed is performed, then the cloak's secrets will be yours, Arumaga."

The dragon--I don't know what I'm seeing, but if Gaius is planning to betray us--

"Arnie is fading. The one you call Aiden has to be removed. The orb he touched is interfering in some manner with his abilities. It acts as if he is one of the artifacts and is trying to destroy him." An illithid was speaking telepathically to Callas. "Only his father may be able to help him."

Ugh, ugh, ugh, one of those was enough for one lifetime--

Passion, two lovers tangled in the night, twisting, writhing, thrusting. The woman's face turned to Callas. It was herself. The male body, filled with scars, turned. Galvin. "I have always loved you and always will, Callas."

She ran her hand down to Galvin's right thigh. The scars there were crosshatched into a pattern. It was obviously her name burned there. "How did Malik know?"

Though the dream-Callas could not see it, the dreamer-Callas could: a flash of some emotion, perhaps guilt, perhaps something else, crossing his face. No sooner did she see it than it was gone, Galvin replying, "Malik did a great many things unconsciously. Carving your name in my leg was just one of them."

Callas settled into his arms for warmth and comfort, but that scar was horrible reminder of things past and situations yet to come. But tonight was just tonight.

Oh. Oh, my. Me? And Galvin? Wait, I want to see more--damnit, moving again...

Strawberries, in her human form, threw a fistful of gems at the wall. The softer gems shattered against the hard granite, the diamonds drilled their way into the wall. She was crying, tears streaming down her face. "Forever human. Forever. Damn you." She sobbed, sinking down to the floor, hiding her beautiful face in her arms.

"I am sorry, my love." Riyor said, standing over her.

All right, this is making no sense at all. Even if it's a dream of the future, what could a dragon see in Riyor? And why would she be trapped as a human? It's just not possible...

"It is the destiny of the person wielding Excalibur to be a King. I am the lord of the Knights Templar, long may they reign." Gavião shouted, standing high on a castle wall. Shouts and cheers greeted his words. "Evil has taken purchase in this land and we will take it back. Death to the king of France. Death to Louis." Shouts of death to Louis rang out from the crowd. "When this day is done, Evil will tremble at the sight of us. Long live the Knight Templar. Long live my empire." Shouts of Gavião! rang out.

That's it, that's what was different about Gavião--

"I didn't think drow could grow beards, Tennant."

"Under normal circumstances, I would have to agree with you, Callas. But if you have the ability, you have to try it just once. What do you think?"

"I liked you better evil, I think." She clapped him on the back, scanning a horde of dead orc, goblins, and ogres. "You scare me now."

Tennant growing a beard? Hordes of orcs and goblins? What the hell?

A birth in process, Callas' mother, much younger, giving birth. An older midwife attended her, Callas' father in the background. Her mother gave one mighty push and from between her legs slid a child, a baby girl. Its head lolled off to the side, no sound from its tiny lungs. The midwife slapped it hard, recieving no response. She held its chest to her ear and slowly shook her head.

"I am sorry," she said. "Stillborn."

Callas' father walked over to midwife and took the child from her, cradling the dead infant in his arms. "We were going to name you Callas, little one. It will have to be on your tombstone now."

Epona appeared, invisible to the rest, her stomach swollen with child. She reached her hand into her belly and pulled forth a living child. Callas' father looked up to her mother, crying tears of exhaustion, grief, and pain. He looked down again--and the child's hand twitched. Atienvo turned and slapped the child hard on the back. The baby screamed in protest. "She lives!" he yelled.

Epona stood watching the scene, stillborn child in her hand. "At least you have the same father, if different mothers. Live long, Callas. I will be watching you."

"This is a miracle." The old midwife's eyes were filled with wonder. "I have never seen a stillborn come back to life." She paused, and stared a bit longer. "Wasn't--wasn't the child's hair blonde, just a minute ago?"

Oh dear goddess. Goddess, no, please, no--

Who am I?

What am I?

Callas woke with a start, only long experience waking from nightmares around horses keeping the startled scream that clawed at her throat at bay. She breathed shallowly and rapidly, drawing comfort from the horse she was lying against.

Her hands shaking, she fumbled with the clasp of one of the necklaces she was wearing. First one, and then two, were dropped into the pouch she always kept at her side. The amulets were hot enough to nearly burn her skin, though they cooled rapidly in the chill air of the barn. She lifted her hands a third time, to undo the last amulet, and then hesitated. She shook her hand, and left it on.

Galvin was awake, she knew, woken by her fear and confusion. I could go find him, but...no. There was that paralysis, too, of realizing that her feelings for her friend and Second had somehow changed without telling her until it was far, far too late. I don't know what I'm going to do. All of this, and I suddenly come up with a crush on Galvin. Who probably thinks of me more as a sister than anything else. Though, there was that bit of dream...but was that a foretelling or just wishful thinking?

She glanced out the window of the stall; the sky was still dark, it was probably a couple of hours before sunrise on the longest night of the year. Spot, woken by Callas' moving around, swung her head over and nibbled on Callas' hair.

She didn't realize she was crying until a tear splashed on the back of her hand. She bowed her head, letting the tears fall.

She heard a light step in the corridor outside the stall. She frowned and rose silently to her feet, rubbing her eyes, picking up the staff beside her and holding it at the ready. At this hour, there were few people who had a reason to be in the stables.

Galvin stopped in the doorway of the stall. In the light of the lantern in the barn corridor, he could see that she was obviously exhausted beyond all reason, completely out of spells, her face streaked with blood and dirt and tears. But still she stood ready to fight, if need be.

He raised his hand. "Peace, Callas." Her shoulders sagged as she recognized him. "I told Gavião where you were, so he didn't worry when he finds you gone in the morning. And I brought some blankets for you. The straw gets scratchy, I know."

The first question that came to Callas' mind was, "how did you know where I was?" but the answer came as quickly as the question did: Galvin had known her for years, knew that it was her habit, when the nightmares came, to go sleep in the stables. The first time he'd found her asleep in the straw had been about two years into their training, when he'd been on early stables duty. He knew it was her instinct, when hurt, not to run to any humans but instead to her first friends, the horses.

Instead of that question, the other question, spoken before she can think about it--"Will you stay with me?"

His nodded. "You had only to ask." She stepped into his hug and surprised herself by dissolving into tears once more, the grief of the day tearing at her anew as she felt his warmth spread through her. She hadn't realized how cold she'd been.

Dimly, she was aware of him easing the two of them down into the straw and pulling her into his lap, cradling her close as all of the tears of frustration and fear she'd been keeping back fought their way out of her. Galvin murmured nonsense at her, his voice soothing her.

Finally, her sobs stuttered into silence, and she rested her head against his chest. Her first coherent thought, oddly enough, was He smells nice. And he did; straw and sweat and a tinge of horse, and something beyond that, something that was him alone. Her second coherent thought was, I can hear his heartbeat. She listened to the steady, reassuring thump of it beneath her ear.

He kissed the top of her head, gently. "Are you going to be all right, Callas?"

Her voice was shaky, but clear. "I think so. Thank you for coming and finding me."

"My pleasure. Besides...what are friends for?" She listened to the sardonic twist that only a friend of long standing would have heard in those last words. Her breath caught in her throat, suddenly, as she realized what a certain small voice in the back of her mind had been trying to tell her for the past few days. What the dream she'd just had told her as plain as day.

He doesn't want to be just your friend, you idiot.

Callas' heart twisted with nervousness. I've never done this before...but I want to. I think. No, I know.

The small voice said, very quietly, Fortune favors the brave.

She raised her head from his chest, looking up at his face, the darkness blurring the features she knew so well. "Um...Galvin?"

He looked down at her. "What is it?"

In answer, she laid a hand on the side of his face, and kissed him. Lightly, so lightly, her lips lingered on his. Suddenly self-conscious, she broke the kiss and pulled back, her eyes searching in the darkness for something, anything that might give her a clue to what he was feeling. Was I wrong? Is he going to laugh at me? Oh, goddess--

Galvin's voice was rough. "Callas? I--" He broke off, turning his face away from her. "If you only knew. Don't play with me, please."

"You think I didn't mean that?"

He turned back towards her. "All I know is that you take no notice of me for years, and suddenly, out of nowhere, you decide to kiss me. I think you've had a very long day, and..." She could feel his shrug. "I won't take advantage of that."

She bit her lip. "I--I'm sorry. I just thought...never mind. Forget it, all right?" She felt herself on the verge of tears again, and turned her face into his shoulder. Fortune favors the brave, indeed.

"What did you think, Callas?"

She took a breath, her forehead resting against his shoulder. "I just thought, maybe...you liked me as more than a friend. I'm sorry, I was wrong. Like I said, forget it."

She felt his whole body still and he was silent for a long space. "You thought--and you chose tonight to do something about it?"

The tears that she'd been holding back started to slide down her cheeks. "I didn't know, I thought you didn't think of me like that, and--I've never done this before, I don't know how it's supposed to work, and I love you, and now I'm sorry I said anything. Can we please just move on and pretend I never said anything?"

His voice was quiet. "What was that, Callas?"

He wasn't going to let her escape. "I said I love you, and can we please--" She never finished the sentence, whatever she was going to say washed away by a sob. She turned her face away from him, wishing fervently that she'd never listened to that small voice.

She felt his hand on her hair, hesitantly stroking it. "Goddess, Callas. I swear I didn't mean to upset you. Sssh, ssssh, it's all right. Ssssh, now." He held her, his voice sounding as if it too held unshed tears. "You startled me, is all. I've wanted to hear that from you for so many years, but having you say it, after I'd given up all hope...I'm sorry I didn't believe you. And just for the record, I love you. I have for years now. I didn't think you would ever notice."

She sniffled, and asked, "Why did you give up hope? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought--well, never mind what I thought, really. As for why I gave up hope..." He sighed and shifted. "I misinterpreted something, I think. It's of little import."

"What was it?"

"I thought that you and Gavião...ah. Like I said, I misinterpreted."

"Me. And Gavião?" Her mouth fell open. "You thought Gavião and I were--are--oh dear goddess."

"He's very protective of you, and you do sleep in the same tent."

She couldn't decide whether to be amused or outraged. "And he's eleven years older than me! I love Gavião, but he's more like my father than anything else. I'm pretty sure he's not harboring any feelings for me other than that. I'm far too young for him. Besides, there are certain things that knights aren't supposed to do with their sworn clerics."

His voice was wry. "It happens, though. I thought it had, in your case. I have to confess, I'm glad to find out it's not true." He tightened his arms around her, and she lay her head on his shoulder again.

"Callas, I have to ask you a question, and I need you to be honest with me."

"What?"

"You said before that this was the first time you'd done this. The first time you've done what, exactly?"

Even in the dark, she was sure he could feel her blush. She bit her lip again, thinking about how to respond. "Any of it, really. I've never kissed anyone on purpose before. Never told anyone I liked them like, um, that before. Never done any of--well, any of the rest, really. I got cornered in a hayloft by Basta once when I was twelve, and, well, it wasn't particularly pleasant. I always felt too awkward to, um, find out if it could be nicer with someone else..." She realized she was babbling and shut her mouth before she embarrassed herself any further.

"I thought you simply weren't telling me and Conti and Fredi about your affairs." His voice was startled. "I never thought that you could get out of training without at least one fling, and you were so pretty I couldn't imagine that you wouldn't have the older boys after you."

She chuckled. "I think you were the only one who thought I was pretty. They were, but because I was a challenge. I think. After I held a knife to Basta's tender parts, they left me well alone."

"That was you? I thought the knife was just a rumor..."

"He wouldn't leave me alone. I made him go away." She shrugged against his chest. "And I never trusted anyone else to get that close to me." She paused, tilting her head. "Why did you need to know? Does it make a difference?" She found herself hoping that it wouldn't.

"A little. Mostly, it explains a few things for me." He began stroking her hair again. She relaxed against him, still feeling a bit nervous, but willing to follow this wherever it might lead. "I'm sorry I upset you. It just seemed a little too perfect to be true, and I thought that maybe today had caused a moment of insanity on your part."

"No. It just made me realize that life is precious, I suppose. I'm not immortal, and neither are you."

He kissed the top of her head again, his lips lingering on her hair. "Such a pessimist. What happened to that stringbean I used to know, who decided that if the third-years could ride standing on the back of their horses, so could she?"

"And who nearly broke my neck a couple of dozen times trying to figure out the trick of it on my own?" She chuckled, and then gravity crept back into her voice. "They made her Headmistress and told her to save the world. That's what happened to her." She wiggled upwards till her eyes were on a level with Galvin's and rested her forehead against his. After a moment, she pulled away from him a bit, and kissed him again, still lightly and lingeringly.

She closed her eyes, and the kiss deepened, and the world stopped. Suddenly, there was nothing in the world but the two of them and what was happening between them. When the kiss broke, it was as if she had been underwater for a very long time, and she was gasping for breath. She breathed, without realizing she was speaking, "Dear goddess..."

He chuckled. "All acts of love and pleasure, remember?" And this time he kissed her, and that was different but no less compelling, so removed from her single experience six years ago that they weren't even in the same universe.

When they surfaced from that kiss, she asked, "You've done this before, right?" At his nod, she said, "Teach me." Her voice was demanding, an edge of greed in it. "Teach me what I've been missing."

And until the morning light crept through the window, he taught her, waking nerve endings she hadn't realized she had, treating her shyness with amused patience. When false dawn stained the sky grey, they lay in the straw, entangled together. Galvin's shirt was gone and Callas' was open to the waist, but the rest of their clothes were intact. Callas yawned and snuggled down farther into the blanket-covered straw. She murmured, "That was really awfully nice. Do we have to get up?"

Galvin chuckled. "In a bit. If we don't show up for breakfast, I think Gavião would think something had happened to us. But I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I don't suppose you'd like, ah, a repeat performance tonight, would you?"

"Just try to spend tonight somewhere other than with me. I dare you."

He laughed at her sleepily belligerent tone. "I don't think I'll take that dare. Besides, I haven't nearly finished teaching you everything I know."

She bit his shoulder. "Good. And in case you were wondering, no, I'm not going to threaten you with a gelding knife any time soon."

He choked. "You threatened...Basta...with a gelding knife? No wonder you put the fear of the Goddess into him. By the Name..."

"It was what I had handy, all right? I didn't even realize what I had in my hand until afterwards, and it took me a couple of years to figure out why he ran like I'd lit his ass on fire. He nearly fell out of the hayloft trying to get away from me."

"Poor Basta. He had no idea what he was getting into."

She propped her sharp chin on her hand, turning to look into his eyes. "And do you have any idea what you're getting into, Galvin Dubois? Do you really?"

He answered her serious look with a smile. "I think I do. At least...I've been hoping beyond hope for something like seven years that this would happen some day. I'd have followed you into the Hells themselves, even if this hadn't happened. Now that it has, don't think I'm going to let you get away from me now. At least, not until I've finished teaching you everything you want to be taught..."

There was a wicked grin on Callas' face. "I know exactly the lesson I want to learn tonight. Are you up for teaching me?"

He understood what she was talking about, and raised an eyebrow her direction. "Are you sure? I've been going slowly...and, ah, I've heard that the first time, there can be some pain..."

She rolled her eyes at him. "So I've heard. But I've been riding horses nearly nonstop for eight years. That little problem was taken care of long ago. Yes, I'm sure." She raised herself up on her elbow and kissed him, sending pleasant shocks through them both. She slid down and rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.

And there they rested until the tardy sun slipped over the horizon, the morning light pouring through the window and puddling over the two fast asleep in the straw, Galvin curled around Callas as if to protect her from everything that haunted her, from everything that the day might bring.

So much time
we circle the sky with one wing beating
searching for the light that's true
all our lives
we chase the night like it's neverending
you the sun
and I the moon...

Gaia Consort, "Drawing Down the Moon"

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